Lay of the Land
June 2006

All work and no play makes Stella a dull woman. Luckily, Ottawa’s competitive ultimate scene is full of happening players—on and off the field. Our sources have been hard at work figuring out just what those players do with their down time…

Mel V. recently celebrated her upcoming nuptials with a ladies’ night on the town. She caught the eye of many an eager bar hound in her black leather dominatrix outfit—complete with whip. If you don’t believe us, see for yourself!

Speaking of leather, Shannon E. and BT are celebrating their third wedding anniversary this summer… also known as the leather anniversary. Let’s hope Shannon can find something racy for Brett that’ll get him out of his striped La Senza underwear—last year’s cotton anniversary present.

Word on the street has Sully moving in with a certain Ottawa real estate king and former Phoenix playah. That’s right, you heard it here first: wild child Chowder is headed for domestic bliss with our own Dr. Duhaime. 

During Stella’s rookie initiation night, veteran Em Chen took one for the team and entertained the local guys on the dance floor. We’re not going to get into where she spent the night after leaving Maxwell’s…

For over a year there has been speculation that Marie-Andrée “Muscles” Magoo is on steroids. Well, now we have iron-clad proof. It seems that Magoo got into a bit of trouble last month when her boss caught her snatching steroids from the lab. Apparently she’s been using herself as a guinea pig for her experiments in muscle control. Some people just don’t like to play fair.

Cutie pie Jamie Collins was recently stopped at the border on the way back from an ultimate tourney after failing to convince the border guard that she was an ultimate champion fighter. Go figure. While we’re on the subject of Ms. Collins, we’ve all been wondering what’s really going on with her and Hogel. This photo should shed some light on the matter…

Looks like Stella’s dancing queen has found a new hobby outside of ultimate. Shannon B. was recently spotted renewing her membership at XXX Adult Video on Montreal Road.

Playgirl Rachel Robichaud was selected as next month’s lululemon athletica cover model. Look for her in all her glory at your local lulu outlet.

The word is finally out for newlywed Kate Crump. Poor Kate has been living a lie as the beard for her gay cowboy husband Doug. But don’t feel sorry for her yet—with her looks, she won’t have any trouble finding a boy toy on the side.

On a related note, we hear that one of Red Dog’s kept men has been meeting former Phoenix player Jeff Sward for illicit weekly sweat sessions. Here’s a hint: rumour has it that he’s playing with GOAT again this summer.